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Best Quotes from Portal

Posted by Michael Koczwara On July - 15 - 2011 0 Comment

A game with one of the best lines of dialogue and voice acting, Portal left many gamers with favorable quotes that are still remembered to this day. Here are some of the best quotes from our very memorable and favorite AI, GLaDOS.

Warning: Portal (1) SPOILERS!

“Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your official testing record, followed by death.”


“Remember, the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.”


“Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here].”


“The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.”


“The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it.”


“You euthanised your faithful companion cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.”



And now for the spoiler filled quotes…



“That thing you burnt up isn’t important to me. Not any more. It’s the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit; it makes shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero.


“Do you think I’m trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now… OK fine. DO touch it. Pick it up and just stuff it back into me!”


“Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I’m about to correct.”


“That thing is probably a sewage containment unit. So just go ahead, rub your face all over it. Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON’T LET YOU! How does that feel? Think about it. If that thing is important, why don’t I know about it? I’ll tell you what that thing isn’t – it isn’t yours! So leave it alone!”


“There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come, either, because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: “Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned.” That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that’s funny, too.”


“Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it’ll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin. Killing you and giving you good advice aren’t mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.”

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